Hello! I am back from my brief blogging break to share a life update. I took these past couple weeks off to finish out my semester. I really missed blogging and being creative, but I knew I had to take a break to focus on school without overloading myself. Today I wanted to share a little bit about my life in 2021 so far. It’s been a difficult year and I feel it’s important to talk about the lows sometimes in this blogging/social media world because social media is typically a highlight reel of perfect moments. Everyone struggles, especially this past year, so I just want to say it is okay to not be okay.

Grief

At the end of January, my cat, Julia, passed away. She was sixteen years old and she was truly my best friend. My family got Julia when I was only five years old. I can hardly remember life before her. She was there for me through all of my life: going through elementary school, middle school, high school, boyfriends, the loss of my grandparents in the past few years, starting college… She was there for me for everything. Her loss has been devastating for me and I can truly say I’ve never been more heartbroken in my entire life.

We had to let Julia go days before I started my spring semester. Coping with her loss while simultaneously trying to be a good student and worker was overwhelming. I frequently had to leave my virtual classes because I couldn’t stop crying. I started working incredibly hard on all my different responsibilities (school, work, and blog) to distract myself from how I was feeling. Most nights I didn’t fall asleep until 2-3 am in the morning because I didn’t have tasks to distract me from my grief.

School

Like I said earlier, going to school after my loss was very difficult. I didn’t care very much about my classes when I was struggling so much emotionally, but I still tried my best this semester. This semester wasn’t about living, it was about surviving. 

My favorite class this semester was “Criminal Justice: Diversity and Community Policing” which I took as a part of my ethnic studies minor. I really enjoyed having thoughtful discussions about diversity and police as I am very passionate about anti-racism. 

I wasn’t excited about my public relations/journalism classes due to my personal struggles, but I learned so much in these classes that I know I will use in my future career. I only have one year left of college! I simultaneously feel like I just started college and like I’ve been in college for a million years due to the pandemic. I’m thrilled to be done with the semester tomorrow as this has been one of the most difficult semesters since I started college. 

Healing

Healing from loss has been incredibly trying, but I’m slowly starting to feel better with every day that goes by. Daylight savings, warmer weather, and therapy have helped me recover from my loss. I am so excited to be done with school because I feel I will finally have the time and space to heal from losing Julia and start taking care of myself again. 

I’ve taken the last couple weeks off from blogging to focus on all my end of semester finals and projects, but I am so happy to be back! I’ve been feeling this spark inside me these past couple weeks that has been calling me to create. I haven’t felt that way for a long time. I love having this space to share my creative passions and I am so grateful for you. Thank you so much for reading my blog <3

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