For the past three years, I’ve been tutoring kids and two weeks ago, I finally made the decision to quit my job. I started working at a tutoring center just before I turned seventeen. It was my first job and I was so terrified to start working even though I would only be working four hours a week.

It was by chance that I started tutoring kids. A friend recommended me for the job and it sounded like an easy transition into the working world. I’m not one of those people that loves kids. I like them if they’re really cute and/or belong to someone I love, but I really wouldn’t go out of my way to spend time with them if that makes sense. What I’m trying to say is that I wasn’t actively seeking out employment working with kids.

When I started tutoring, I actually enjoyed it! I felt like I was being a really productive member of society and it was so cool watching the kids learn and improve over time. I was really proud of the work I was doing and I learned so much during this time.

One of the biggest lessons I learned while tutoring is how much my mom did for me as a child. When you’re a kid, you tend to be oblivious to all the things your parents do for you.

When I would look into the waiting room and see all the parents that sat for an hour twice a week to improve their child’s education, it made me think about when my mom would drive me all across town after her long work day to take me to my swim lessons, oboe lessons, and all the other extracurricular activities I did as a kid. Parents truly do such for their kids and I felt thankful for my tutoring job that showed me just how badass my mom is.

Another amazing lesson I learned during my time tutoring is how to teach. Learning how to teach has really helped me in my studies as a college student. Since everyone has a different way of learning things, practicing different teaching methods really showed me how I study best and how I can better communicate my instructions. Not gonna lie, I enjoy being bossy haha.

After about a year, the glow I felt from my job began to fade. There were a couple kids I tutored that I really enjoyed working with, but it felt like the number of kids that really frustrated me kept piling up every week that I came in. I was good at working with these kids despite how frustrated I got, but every time I came into work, I knew I was probably going to get angry. My job went from feeling like I was helping kids to more of a task that I had to complete.

I started college in the middle of my second year of tutoring. I still hadn’t picked up another job mainly because I was scared. I felt very comfortable at my tutoring job because I had been there so long and I knew what to expect every time I came in to work. As it was my first year of college, I was also terrified that I wouldn’t be able to handle balancing school and working more than just four hours a week. 

Last summer, I finally faced my fears and got my first fully part time job. I was still tutoring and I was also taking a summer class so this was a pretty overwhelming time for me. Even though learning a completely new job with new people was scary, I did it! I am still working this same part time job to this day and earning more money to put towards my education than I ever did tutoring.

Last fall semester (2019), I switched from tutoring four hours a week to just three hours. There was honestly no reason for shortening my time tutoring other than I just didn’t want to be there. Every shift, I would watch the clock from the time I walked in until the time I left, anxiously waiting to go home.

I didn’t seriously consider the idea of leaving my tutoring job until about six months ago. I liked my boss a lot and the thought of disappointing her was difficult for me. In terms of authority, I am definitely a people pleaser. Looking back on the past six months, I really wish I had quit my job sooner instead of staying for another half of a year simply to avoid an awkward conversation. I should’ve known when to say no.

The day before I quit my tutoring job, I had this moment at my retail job where I had to destroy a mug (because the store was no longer selling it anymore). I smashed the mug into the ground and there was something so exciting to me about breaking it. I knew it was time to quit and the mug felt symbolic of that. 

I was ready to break sh*t and take some agency in my life about what I did/n’t want to do with my time! The next day, I went into my tutoring job and I told my boss I was putting in my two weeks. I felt sad that she was sad, but when I left, I was beaming.

I got into my car and the song Happy by Pharrell Williams was playing. I don’t even like that song, but there was something that felt so perfect hearing it in that moment. I had no regrets about the decision I made and there was this radiating happiness in my chest that I had finally broken my “tutoring job mug”.

Tomorrow (Monday) is my last day tutoring. I’m so proud that I had so much to learn from a job I haven’t enjoyed in years and I’m just so excited to change things up (even though it’ll only be three hours of my week that are different). I really hope this post encourages anyone out there who’s maybe stayed at a job too long or is ready to make a change in their life whether it’s big or small.

What was the first job you ever had?

Shop My Outfit:

–Lulus Yellow Sweater ($76)

–ASTR the Label High Waisted Trouser ($110)

–Clarks Heels ($60)