Between quitting my tutoring job and recently making a big life decision (I’ll share later), I’ve had a lot of nerve wracking conversations lately. I’m sharing tips on how to prepare for difficult conversations because communicating big changes can be really scary! Whether it’s a conversation in a professional setting or a personal relationship, I’ve curated tips to help you communicate everything you need to even when you’re nervous.

Write a Letter You Won’t Send

A lot of times when we’re nervous about difficult conversations, we’re nervous because we have a lot of emotions tied to the decision we’re making. When I quit my tutoring job in March, I felt really guilty about leaving my job because I had a personal connection with my boss after working for her for three years. By writing a letter you won’t send, you can process all your emotions, filter out things that might not be appropriate to say IRL, and learn what actually needs to be communicated.

Make Bullet Points of What You’re Actually Going to Say 

After writing your letter you won’t send, look at your letter again. Within your letter, you’ll see what you actually need to say. I always like to write my main points down on an index card to keep my conversations on track. Writing has always been an amazing outlet for me to communicate as an introvert because I have time to think about what it is I want to say. When I’m actually speaking to people in real life, the words don’t come easily to me. An index card of what I plan to say really helps me communicate everything I need to in difficult conversations.

Practice Your Conversation With a Loved One

The scariest part of having a difficult conversation is actually starting it! By rehearsing what you’re going to say with a loved one, you can ensure that you feel prepared to have the conversation as opposed to feeling like you’re jumping off a cliff. Your loved one might even be able to point out things that need to be added or subtracted from your speech. It never hurts to bounce ideas off another person!

Set a Date

The biggest mistake I made in preparing for my last difficult conversation was not setting a date for myself to have the conversation! I was so terrified to take the leap that I ended up procrastinating the conversation until the very last minute. If you set a date, you are essentially setting a deadline for when you need to have “the talk”.

Let the Person Know You Need to Talk

This might not be applicable to all difficult conversations depending on the situation, but it’s always nice to let the other person know you have something important to say. If you need to have a discussion with a loved one, let them know when you want to talk (ex: “Let’s talk about _____ when you get home from work”). If you plan on having a conversation in a professional environment, be sure to shoot the person a quick email. This not only holds you to actually going through with the conversation, it gives the other person a heads up.

Whether you’re asking for a raise, quitting a job, or making big changes with a loved one, I hope these tips are helpful! <3

Outfit Details

Lulus Cropped V Neck Sweater ($46)

Similar Madewell Midi Skirt (on sale for $50)

Similar GC Shoes Yellow Sandals ($50)

*Photos taken in Yerington, Nevada