At the beginning of this week, I went to my college gym for the first time. This is something I had wanted to do all of last semester, but the fear of not knowing how to use the gym equipment held me back. I was worried I would look like a fool.

So, Monday rolled around and I went to the gym after class. To enter the gym, you have to swipe your ID. Of course when I swiped my ID, the swipe thing didn’t work because I had to fill out a waiver. I knew it wasn’t that big of a deal, but my anxiety levels were already so high and I just wanted to seamlessly enter the gym without attracting any unnecessary attention to myself.

After I signed the waiver, I went into the locker room looking for a locker to put my stuff. I frantically made my way through all the sections of the locker room hoping that no one would notice I had no clue what I was doing. When I finally found an open locker, I put my stuff in it, but when I tried to lock it, it wouldn`t lock. Eventually, I asked someone for help and found out that the lockers in the locker room had to be rented out. I had exposed myself as a newb! D:

After the locker incident, I made my way up the giant staircase in the middle of the gym, trying to make my way to the treadmills, realizing that I couldn’t access the treadmill floor via the giant staircase in the middle of the gym!

Finally, I found the treadmills, only to realize I had left my hydroflask in the locker room, unguarded in the land of hydroflask stealers (people’s hydros get stolen frequently on campus). Luckily, it was right where I left it and I was finally able to do sometime on the treadmill.

After my workout, I was in such a bad mood because it felt like all the reasons I had held back from going to the gym came true! I know all the incidents were not a big deal in the slightest, but in my eyes, it just felt the worst!

I started thinking about it and I realized that I am in the beginner stage in so many areas of my life. I am a beginner adult, a beginner at the gym, a beginner blogger, etc. Being a beginner can be so uncomfortable and can often feel like failure, especially if you`re a perfectionist like myself.

Obviously, I need to be kinder to myself because after all, being in the beginner stage is about learning. No one starts off a pro with any new task. The way to adapt to the beginner stage is to keep doing something and with time, the task will come more easily and you won’t feel clueless anymore.

I`m happy to report to you that I did go back to the gym on Thursday and it went so much better than it had gone at the beginning of the week. I seamlessly swiped my card, I put my stuff in the correct locker area, and I was able to hop on the treadmill with a much calmer mindset than I had at the first time.

If you`re going through a beginner stage, stick through the uncomfortableness and it will get better. Also, know that if you feel like a dorky newb, I`m right there with you.